For Today – Healing One Step At A Time

Posted by on Sep 29, 2016 in adult survivor of child abuse, healing, self-care, self-healing, truth | 0 comments



In any given situation that causes us trauma or emotional upheaval, there is a necessary period of healing that must happen. The bigger the trauma or event, the longer the healing process. In my circle of survivors, a phrase we often hear is the “healing journey”, because it’s generally a long road when we begin, and there is a lot we learn about ourselves during the walk.

There are a lot of times where we don’t want to go through the healing phase itself. We want to stop the emotional roller coaster, get off, and give the loop-de-loop a good old fashioned one finger salute. We try to cram it down, lock it away, distract ourselves with whatever works at the time, ignore it, doing just about anything to not deal with it. We want the shortcut, the easy way. We want to press fast forward, skipping through it all and be okay again. The hard truth that we will learn eventually is that unless we let ourselves go through the healing, we won’t be able to deal with life very well either.

In the book, “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success”, the author, Carol Dweck, Ph.D., discusses the fixed vs. growth mindset that comes into play in these situations. The fixed mindset can be described in short terms as “Just the way you are born”. Your intelligence, your success, your failure, your beliefs are just the way they are, predetermined, and cannot be changed. The growth mindset is “Keep trying until you get it”. You thrive on the challenges of learning new skills, knowledge and trying new things. You know that you’ll get it eventually, and you keep working at it until you are satisfied you have achieved your desired end result.

I equate the very personal experience of healing to being similar to learning how to walk. Both require a growth mindset. You decide you want to start moving forward, and you begin figuring out how to first stand up on your own. Next comes learning how to take step by step, and refusing to give up every time you fall on your rump – I firmly believe this is where resilience comes into play. Once you have started taking your steps, you find that it starts to become easier to walk, albeit slowly at first. Before you know it, you are keeping up a nice stride and then you are able to start running again.

Healing is a lot like this. Trauma has the power to knock us on our butts, there’s no denying that. Adopting a growth mindset, and tapping into our resilience helps us to begin the process of getting back up. By taking the steps necessary to heal within, then we are able to start walking on our life path again, running when we feel compelled to do so.  Hopefully not because of zombies….never that, please.

Step by step, each one a little stronger than the next. Give yourself the time, energy, and focus that you need. Be patient with yourself, and one day you’ll be able to walk along your path at the pace that best suits you.
Love to all of you kickass warriors,

The Phoenix Gathering
“One Starfish At a Time.”
Proud Member of ‪#‎WUVIP‬

Copyright 2015-2016 The Phoenix Gathering. All Rights Reserved.

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