How to Allow Ourselves to be Loved

Posted by on May 11, 2016 in adult survivor of child abuse, empowerment, healing, inspiration, self-healing | 1 comment

Anniversary 02-28-16


I recently celebrated my 7th wedding anniversary to my best friend and the love of my life. It’s a bigger deal than a lot of people in my circles may be able to understand because there were 34 years beforehand where I could never have been in this place.

You see, I had to do a lot of inner work to allow real unconditional love into my heart and my existence. I had to let go of the belief that I wasn’t worth being truly loved, that I would always be hurt and abandoned. The biggest thing I had to literally destroy was my belief that I couldn’t be seen. I had taken a vow of invisibility when I was very little – to be seen meant that I would be hurt, to be invisible meant that I was safe.

I would say that I’m lucky because my love was there waiting for me when I was finally ready to see him. However, I had already been through two painful divorces, and years of letting myself be treated poorly by bad choices of boyfriends. My ex-husbands tried to be there for me as best they could, but how could it have ever really worked if I wasn’t willing to love myself first?

I am blessed in the sense that my love was willing to wait for me as I figured my crap out. He saw in me everything that I couldn’t see, he saw my strength and my uniqueness. He accepted me in all of my brokenness and has loved me fully as I’ve healed.

In order to be truly loved, we must be willing to break down the boulders and walls that prevent it from coming into our lives. We have to face down our fears and inaccurate beliefs of inadequacy and self-worth, shutting them down one by one with the truth that we ARE worthy and we DO deserve to be loved. We have to believe that it is safe to let someone in, and we must be willing to love ourselves and learn the lessons if things don’t work out.

Most of all, we must allow ourselves to be seen, all of our broken parts as well as the parts that make us brilliant, unique, and beautiful.

Love to all of you kickass warriors,

The Phoenix Gathering
“One Starfish At a Time.”
Proud Member of ‪#‎WUVIP‬

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